They say God doesn't make mistakes... but then why am I here? I mean... Why did I fall so much in love when I can't have him and the only outcome was this horrible, gut wrenching pain for me?

I prayed
I prayed and prayed for God to send me a man that He chooses for me
I prayed over and over for clarification that Cortez was the one sent and I kept seeing signs that God was telling me to love him and not give up. Every time I decided to give up, I'd see signs telling me not to stop. I'd pray and ask and decide, deep in my heart that God doesn't want me to give up on us and our love. This is an AMAZING love.

Today is hard. I love him so completely. Everything about him, his name, his face, his smile, his goofy attitude. Everything. I am so completely in love and lust with this man. He is perfect for me.

I love him on so many levels:
intellectually
personality
sexually
intimately
lustfully